So...I really need to vent about something that has been putting me in a bad mood for almost 2 weeks! I don't want to cause waves with anyone who was involved, so I have been trying to keep it to myself & haven't even whined to Matt about it because-well, there isn't anything he can do so why bother him with it.
Ok here goes...I am in charge of play group each week, and when it is cold we meet in the church so that the kids can play with all the toys in the nursery. There are usually about 5-10 "regulars" that come & every once in a while the nursery leader comes & hangs out if she has time. I have made pretty good friendships with all the "regulars" & felt like I had a pretty good relationship with the nursery leader too. Well, I noticed that she (the nursery leader-ok, let's just call her NL) had a paper & was going to a few people & talking about assignments & what they could bring. I wasn't tyring to be nosy, but realized that she had talked to almost everyone except for me? I figured it was no big deal & forgot about it.
So...the next week after playgroup I took the kids to a place in the mall & happened to run into one of my friends who is also a "regular" at playgroup. We were just talking casually & I asked her if she had any fun plans for Easter. She said something about the dinner at NL's house & wanted to know if I was coming. Dinner? What dinner I thought? I INSTANTLY felt crushed & knew that all the planning I had witnessed the week earlier was for this big Easter dinner & that I was not invited. I told her that I hadn't been invited & She was really surprised & said something like, "Well, I'll bet she just hasn't told you about it yet." She felt really bad for bringing it up, so I just said it wasn't a big deal & tried to change the subject.
So...Sunday rolls around & I had done my best not to be offended or upset by the whole thing, but every time I saw people I knew at church I would wonder if they had been invited too. I didn't say anything to anyone & when church was over I saw NL passing out little slips of paper & making last minute detail arrangements. I felt total rejection again as we walked out to the car & headed home. I kept busy doing Easter stuff with the kids, making a nice dinner, & talking with our family on the web cam. We had a really nice day & I went to bed content & happy, but it didn't last long because I checked all the updated blogs of my friends on Monday & saw all the fun that I wasn't invited to be a part of.
Another one of the playgroup "regulars" had posted pictures & talked about what a fun dinner it was & how amazing the NL was for hosting a dinner of 30 plus people. I would have been able to find some comfort in seeing that there weren't a lot of people that I was friends with, or if there happened to be other people that I knew who weren't invited, but there was only 1 couple in attendance that I didn't know on a personal basis at the dinner.
I don't know why it bothered me so much, but I had to hold back the tears. I feel like I am in High School again & I didn't get invited to some party with all the cool kids. Ya know? Its dumb, and I really shouldn't feel this way. I keep thinking of the talk given a while back at General Conference about not letting yourself be offended. (I think it was given by Bednar) But I don't know how not to be right now. I'm hoping that time will heal my lame wounds & I keep praying for help to deal with the situation, but I just need to vent. How do I make Lemonade? How do I act "normal" around NL when really what I want to do is ask her why my family wasn't invited?
Dumb...the whole thing is dumb & I hope that tomorrow I will have forgotten all about it.
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4 comments:
Oh Les I'm so sorry! I can't believe that you weren't invited and if I was in your shoes I would TOTALLY feel the same way. I don't have any great advice cuz I'd be mad for days over something like this. Especially cuz you interact with these people all of the time. NL is so rude! I can't believe she planned the whole thing right infront of you! Sorry I don't think I'm any help BUT I do think that what you are doing is the best thing possible. I'll keep you in my prayers and hope that things will smooth over soon. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. I love you!
Ok - that is so rude. Wow. Some people are just idiots. I'd be pissed too Les. HOWEVER - I honestly think a dinner party with 30 plus people, many of the them being children, sound CRAZY. I bet you had a WAY NICER EASTER than they did. Honestly. Your Easter sound much more my speed. But - that doesn't mean I wouldn't have hurt feelings and be mad. That's REALLY lame. I'm so sorry. Just keep praying and do your best not to be offended. Go to the church website and find that talk and read it in full.
LOVE YOU LES!! I'm sorry such a stupid thing happened.
Grrrrr. That is in place of another word that came to mind referring to NL. Hummm, what a B___ig meanie. :o It's one thing 2 plan a do-dad and have you not invited, hear about it later...be sad. A whole other thing to have her smear it in your face. I bet it's because she is intimidated by your royal awesomeness. Yep, that's what it is. You are above her level and she wanted to look like the coolest cat there, so thus, you couldn't be in attendance. :) Don't take it personally, it's her loss any way.
I am so lucky to have such great friends! You guys really helped me get over that whole ordeal. Thankyou so so much for your kind words!!
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